On birthdays, grumpiness and whales
I have no problem with getting older (except that I'm 35 and have the joints of a 70 year old, so that makes me nervous!) I have no trepidation surrounding my birthday. I'm actually fairly mellow about my birthday, if not a bit anti-birthday. I don't need gifts (seriously, my kiddos could make me a card and that'd be enough) and I don't need a party.
But my last two birthdays SUCKED. Like all day long suckage. I got nice presents before or after, but the day itself sucked. For kinda the same reason, but I'll be cryptic and glaze over that. Suffice it to say, I ended up spending half the day by myself because it was the only way to remedy the day (which it did, at least partially).
So I decided that next year, someone needs to throw me a huge fucking party. Or I need to travel somewhere spectacular. Because being mellow and having low expectations is BACKFIRING.
Yikes, I'm just sitting here complaining. (And this is, I know, peak #whitepeopleproblems. I should be writing an inspiring, epic tribute to first responders during hurricanes or something. But I can't. I can't see what's happening in TX and FL without being pissed off about both climate change and the crappy way we plan our cities.) You know what was awesome last week? I saw orcas, twice. I do this thing where I put it out into the universe that I'll donate X amount of money to Y charity (e.g. Orca Network or Oceana) if I see orcas/whales/dolphins (orcas are worth the most, fwiw.) It's my personal version of karma, and it's been working lately. (I mean, orcas just generally being in/around Tacoma has nothing to do with it, right?) So it's on my to do list to donate some moolah to some cool charities. I also got to see a movie by myself, buy some ethical clothes at Purpose in Point Ruston, and have a margarita. (I've basically been eating my feelings about that shitty birthday and a few crappy days since, so if there's a shortage of breakfast burritos in Tacoma, I apologize.) Even though I ended up doing a bunch of cool shit, I still am so grumpy about my bad birthday. I even got an amazing present, a big DSLR from my husband, but I can't shake the shadow of the crappy day.
I tried to re-set myself with reiki this morning, and I couldn't get settled. I was cold, and antsy, and my brain wouldn't stop churning. I guess one good thing to come out of that unideal session is some thoughts for my next workshop.
UGH. Is anyone else as grumpy as me today? Any suggestions of how to kick my butt out of being in a shitty mood?
But my last two birthdays SUCKED. Like all day long suckage. I got nice presents before or after, but the day itself sucked. For kinda the same reason, but I'll be cryptic and glaze over that. Suffice it to say, I ended up spending half the day by myself because it was the only way to remedy the day (which it did, at least partially).
So I decided that next year, someone needs to throw me a huge fucking party. Or I need to travel somewhere spectacular. Because being mellow and having low expectations is BACKFIRING.
Yikes, I'm just sitting here complaining. (And this is, I know, peak #whitepeopleproblems. I should be writing an inspiring, epic tribute to first responders during hurricanes or something. But I can't. I can't see what's happening in TX and FL without being pissed off about both climate change and the crappy way we plan our cities.) You know what was awesome last week? I saw orcas, twice. I do this thing where I put it out into the universe that I'll donate X amount of money to Y charity (e.g. Orca Network or Oceana) if I see orcas/whales/dolphins (orcas are worth the most, fwiw.) It's my personal version of karma, and it's been working lately. (I mean, orcas just generally being in/around Tacoma has nothing to do with it, right?) So it's on my to do list to donate some moolah to some cool charities. I also got to see a movie by myself, buy some ethical clothes at Purpose in Point Ruston, and have a margarita. (I've basically been eating my feelings about that shitty birthday and a few crappy days since, so if there's a shortage of breakfast burritos in Tacoma, I apologize.) Even though I ended up doing a bunch of cool shit, I still am so grumpy about my bad birthday. I even got an amazing present, a big DSLR from my husband, but I can't shake the shadow of the crappy day.
I tried to re-set myself with reiki this morning, and I couldn't get settled. I was cold, and antsy, and my brain wouldn't stop churning. I guess one good thing to come out of that unideal session is some thoughts for my next workshop.
UGH. Is anyone else as grumpy as me today? Any suggestions of how to kick my butt out of being in a shitty mood?
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