On planning, goals and jobs
When I was a child, I dreamt of being an inventor. I made weird stuff, including drawings of a rotating, circular, see through fridge. I made architectural drawings of my dream home, which included a tennis court, of course. I had all sorts of ideas of what I wanted to do. But as I got into my teens I just had one real goal, to get married and have kids. Sure, my family culture focused on marriage and kids (I am one of five!) but I didn't feel like I couldn't have a career. I just wanted to be mom. So when I graduated from college sans boyfriend (let alone a husband) it was a rude awakening of having to actually choose a career. (I didn't, I punted and went to graduate school.) I did end up meeting my husband in graduate school, and found work afterwards that was sort of related to my degree. I worked hard, worked too much, and fell into a real career without having any sort of plan. When I got two papers published in journals after grad school, I legitimately thought to myself, "OK, I guess I've peaked!" I just assumed that I wouldn't do anything quite so "important" again.
Cut to thirteen years later, a career behind me and two kids in the picture. I've written before about the challenges of redefining success for myself after having kids, of what I want to do when my littlest goes to school in just over a year. I don't want to go back to working 60 hours per week, and I don't want to get a J-O-B for the sake of the money. (I recognize the inherent privilege wrapped up in that sentence, I really do.) I have a hard time imagining a job that allows me to do good work in the community (this could have many different meanings), pays a good wage and doesn't need me to work more than 30-35 hours per week. I lay awake at night sometimes trying to figure this out. Not just for me (I'd honestly wing it if it were up to me) but because it stresses my partner out that I don't know what I'm going to "do" at that point. I toy with the idea of taking my jewelry business full time (could my hands handle it? do I really want to hire an employee?) or do workshops as an income generator (is the market there? am I good enough at it?) or go back to writing and consulting (do I have the patience, or mental energy to do research and work with teams and supervisors again?)
All of this to say that while I have lots of ideas of things I *could* do, I don't have a lot of fixed ideas about what I *should* do, and when. It's a luxury, for sure, being able to think about it for a few years, being able to try to make something that works really well for me. I'm not a planner by nature. (Ironically, I am a planner by career; my degree and first few post-grad jobs were as an urban planner.) Which has led to three VERY interesting years for my little growing business. I didn't have an overarching goal when I took happy fox studio from hobby to small business. I did set small goals along the way (I want to gross X amount this year, or I want to start wholesale this year) which came and went. However much energy I put into the business, it grew in response. So, in 2017, I decided my goal was to work less, to be more efficient. I expected my sales to drop at least a little, but they didn't - they went up. They also went up two years ago when I raised my prices. And they went up when I stopped worrying about having a website or 'making it work' on Etsy. I don't know if I've just gotten lucky with my business, or if I'm getting smarter about where to put my energy. I guess I'm getting better at setting and reaching small goals. But if you ask me what my life will look like in 5 years, I have no specifics. It's just a feeling of being comfortable in my house (whatever size it is), having healthy, happy, well adjusted children, and doing work that feels good on a personal level but also gives back. I feel like those "goals" are good enough! But I also feel overwhelmed by my friends that have 5 year plans with their spouses and 10 year plans with their business. Am I part of a new group of sort-of-stay-at-home-moms mixed with people-who-want-to-work-but-do-good-at-the-same-time? Or am I just flighty?! Am I a "Renaissance Soul" or just a hot mess? I wish I knew the answer to that.
Are you a planner? What are your goals for 2018? Mine are: plan family and business events further out so I/my family are not surprised by our schedule! And to do a better job of self care, specifically, getting more active and eating better (a goal every year that I am achieving, at least a little bit, every year. Which I think will help me with my final (perpetual) goal to be more patient and kind and empathetic with my kids.
Cut to thirteen years later, a career behind me and two kids in the picture. I've written before about the challenges of redefining success for myself after having kids, of what I want to do when my littlest goes to school in just over a year. I don't want to go back to working 60 hours per week, and I don't want to get a J-O-B for the sake of the money. (I recognize the inherent privilege wrapped up in that sentence, I really do.) I have a hard time imagining a job that allows me to do good work in the community (this could have many different meanings), pays a good wage and doesn't need me to work more than 30-35 hours per week. I lay awake at night sometimes trying to figure this out. Not just for me (I'd honestly wing it if it were up to me) but because it stresses my partner out that I don't know what I'm going to "do" at that point. I toy with the idea of taking my jewelry business full time (could my hands handle it? do I really want to hire an employee?) or do workshops as an income generator (is the market there? am I good enough at it?) or go back to writing and consulting (do I have the patience, or mental energy to do research and work with teams and supervisors again?)
All of this to say that while I have lots of ideas of things I *could* do, I don't have a lot of fixed ideas about what I *should* do, and when. It's a luxury, for sure, being able to think about it for a few years, being able to try to make something that works really well for me. I'm not a planner by nature. (Ironically, I am a planner by career; my degree and first few post-grad jobs were as an urban planner.) Which has led to three VERY interesting years for my little growing business. I didn't have an overarching goal when I took happy fox studio from hobby to small business. I did set small goals along the way (I want to gross X amount this year, or I want to start wholesale this year) which came and went. However much energy I put into the business, it grew in response. So, in 2017, I decided my goal was to work less, to be more efficient. I expected my sales to drop at least a little, but they didn't - they went up. They also went up two years ago when I raised my prices. And they went up when I stopped worrying about having a website or 'making it work' on Etsy. I don't know if I've just gotten lucky with my business, or if I'm getting smarter about where to put my energy. I guess I'm getting better at setting and reaching small goals. But if you ask me what my life will look like in 5 years, I have no specifics. It's just a feeling of being comfortable in my house (whatever size it is), having healthy, happy, well adjusted children, and doing work that feels good on a personal level but also gives back. I feel like those "goals" are good enough! But I also feel overwhelmed by my friends that have 5 year plans with their spouses and 10 year plans with their business. Am I part of a new group of sort-of-stay-at-home-moms mixed with people-who-want-to-work-but-do-good-at-the-same-time? Or am I just flighty?! Am I a "Renaissance Soul" or just a hot mess? I wish I knew the answer to that.
Are you a planner? What are your goals for 2018? Mine are: plan family and business events further out so I/my family are not surprised by our schedule! And to do a better job of self care, specifically, getting more active and eating better (a goal every year that I am achieving, at least a little bit, every year. Which I think will help me with my final (perpetual) goal to be more patient and kind and empathetic with my kids.
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